Faith

We have been told a minute amount of faith can move mountains. This has always impressed me and I strive to be faithful. I don't think there has been anyone or anything that has shaken my faith in God. But I must admit I have very little faith in the people I know, or more accurately my trust has been tarnished like acid to a mirror. Am I trust worthy? I don't know. I like to talk about problems until they are solved. So, I don't like to promise not to talk to my closest friends about issues. But, I do the things I say I will, and I try not to do the upsetting things that others do to me. My question is , "Can I have faith in God and not mankind"? It seems there is a disconnect if I don't have faith in people. How can I regain the trust I once had? If we forgive others then trust should follow. But, as we grow older and have bad experiences, we should learn from our mistakes and beware of falling into the same traps. Being cautious feels like having little faith. If we trust God that should translate into a relationship with people that is comfortable and productive. One that glorifies God. But if we are all sinful and self centered this cannot be so. We need people we can depend on, and there are many who focus on doing the will of God. Many people strive to do what is right and good. It could be marvelous to live and work with only those who are trustworthy and true believers. The Amish seem to be an example of this kind of community. But, I am sure they will tell you they have their flaws and problems with in and outside of their followers. None of us can really be trusted. And no one should ask, "Have a little faith in me". But how do we cheerfully exist in a family or community where we feel like others want to take what we have. We can give away all that we have. But there can still be our friends, personality, work ethic and reputation that others may envy or attempt to destroy. Jesus complemented a woman for her great faith and healed her daughter. I want to be that woman. But I am sure that I must also regain my faith in mankind to connect with the God that moves mountains.

Marriage

The Catholic Religion considers marriage a sacrament and weddings are often held in churches. I am now a wedding officiant, and have licence to also conduct funerals. I have lots of experience attending weddings and planning a few. I have lots of experience in counseling and listening to problems with relationships. But I do not have a degree in divinity and I am not an ordained minister. I simply applied to the The First National Church in America which has a Navajo background. Because of freedom of religion, anyone can be a minister. I have deep religious convictions, so I do not take this lightly. Maybe my romantic notions compelled me to become certified to perform weddings. So now I must register in the State when I want to conduct a ceremony. Also a couple must get a license which takes a couple days- so no shotgun weddings! I would most certainly want to meet with a couple first and I would not do a ceremony if there were doubts about compatibility. Now, I have a yearning to save a church on Main Street Ashtabula to make into a wedding chapel. It will cost 15K which is tempting , but it will cost 50K to make repairs. Anyone want to invest? I hate to see it demolished, but I am sure there are plenty of healthy and struggling churches that might be happy to have my attention and talents. This transition will be an interesting one.

Blind Man's Bluff

There are times when we cannot see what is right in front of us. There are times when we refuse to see the obvious. What is most dangerous is to follow blindly along when we really don't understand where we are going.

The Lord's Prayer (in my understanding)

Our Father in heaven, you are compassionate and loving and always with us in the Holy Spirit.

Hallowed is your name and we praise You for the the wondrous ways you care and provide for us. Your kingdom is everlasting and You will come again to earth in glory as foretold by your prophets. Your will is done on earth as it is done throughout the universe. Give us this day the food we need for our bodies and nourishment for our mind and spirit. Forgive us for our disobedience to the laws you gave to protect and sustain us. Help us to forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not toward greed, lust, pride, gluttony, jealousy and all temptations; but deliver us from those who try to separate us from your love and wish us harm. For your righteous power is over everything and will you are victorious.

Obstacles and Stumbling Blocks

Wow, I missed a whole month? I was inspired by many a sermon last month, especially those on the book of Philippians. I have been strengthened by the weekly prayers of others and wonder why I worried about anything. I feel such a renewed spirit, but let distractions keep me from writing about it. I have self doubts about the value of my writing. I have never been a good or witty writer. And that is what I enjoy reading. The parables of Jesus are good stories and often have snappy retorts to conniving questioners. The lessons and proverbs have been a marvelous guide for my life. I was excited and then scared to learn that people were reading my blogs. Suddenly, I was worried about not living up to expectations or not really having anything important or inspiring to say. Is it inner demons or supernatural forces that provide these obstacles to our progress and stumbling blocks in our performance? I think both, as always. The only way to tackle them is to get back at it. I don't mean revenge to the evil spirits, I mean to prayerfully get back to work and ignore that voices that stir fear. Even more than that, we should be very careful not to be a stumbling block for others. I know I have been when I tell my children they should not or could not do something they have a heart to try. Hannah is the one who has often proved me to be wrong in my assumption, by doing things that I thought were truly beyond her capability. Bethany tests me often by wanting things I am sure she won't use. And Elise will remind me that the way I say things or even my facial expression is a killer to her hope. I didn't know I had any real power over their choices or their performance. I always want to support them( and protect with warnings). I hate myself for ever hurting them in anyway. It really is that we hurt ourselves with those sub conscious thoughts and counter productive feelings that keep us from making positive advances toward our personal goals. So, back to writing whether it is for me to collect my thoughts or for the rare visitor that is led to this site. I impart no new wisdom, but reiterate what has been written of old. Keep flexible to leap over those hurdles that are between you and the finish line.

Escatology

The end times seem to always be on the horizon. The devil is constantly prepared with an evil leader who can cause the abomination of desolation. ( A person who will falsely declare himself to be a god) We see the signs constantly; wars, rumors of wars, floods, and earthquakes. So, our hearts should be constantly prepared. 2012 is a year that is of interestright now. The seventy weeks of seven and the amount of time that Israel has been a nation (since 1947) seem to point to a tribulation that is soon. Is there a new temple? Certainly not on the Temple Mount. There hass been a red heifer for sacrifice. There is great turmoil in the Middle East. So, things could blow at any moment. Where the USA stands in this scene is hard to say. We were a Christian nation, which is based on Jewish history and and a Jewish Savior- Jesus Christ. Does that make us also a Jewish Nation? Not to mention that we have one of the worlds largest populations of practicing Jews. If we study the book of Daniel and the Revelations of John, the world is ripe for a tribulation. Many of us hope a rapture will happen first, some of us want to stay for the seven years of peace and evangelism. The history of the end of the world has shown many who would fit the description of the Antichrist. Antiocus one of the first hateful leaders killed many believers. How can we stand strong against such conflicts? It is frightening, but luckily in God's hands completely. More than ever, I want to follow the wonderful and powerful King of kings. I pray we stay strong.

Hell

It is not a word I like to say or a place I want to think about. Hell is the fiery furnace of ever lasting misery. The sad fact is, that long before the Ancient of Days comes to render the last judgement, we create our own Hell. It is the constant negative feeling of failure, lack of self worth, jealousy of others, and self hate. It is the unrelenting pain from injuries and illness. It is the unrequited love. It is hunger and thirst and loneliness. It is every bad feeling and every bad deed. Can we escape it? Forgiveness may give minor relief. Prayer may lead us in the right direction. But, hell is still there. If you don't feel you are in yours, you can see clearly that others are in theirs. It keeps coming back with every sin. And sometimes we find we are being punished without knowing the sin. How do we extinguish hell- we cannot. Jesus, the living water is our only hope and relief. Why our nature was designed this way seems a cruel trick. Or is it just a test? What does not kill us, will make us stronger. How many die because they are not strong. Some die because they are strong enough to fight for others. Hell is combat, suffucation, torture and abuse. Hell is horrible and we are told that it is worse than anything we have yet experienced. Let us leave hell and embrace only the love that God gave us.

Our sub conscious

When we dream, our sub conscious reveals some strange thoughts. Fasting and meditation are among the few ways we can alter our physical and emotional process and allow strong, scary and wondrous thoughts to emerge. If we record our dreams we could possibly learn more about ourselves. Like many; I dream nightly and in color. The scenarios seem so real and often frightening, but usually full of anxiety. Things that I would never say to people, play out in my dreams- never with positive outcomes. Things I would never do, happen in my dreams, leaving me with feelings of shame and guilt. But, that is only when I have anxiety or have watched a movie that has disturbing scenes. So, I avoid movies with violence (or I fall completely asleep during those scenes). I try to resolve conflicts immediately. And I find myself avoiding people who cause conflict and anxiety. But then we cannot avoid the family we love and want to nurture without feeling negligent. My sister-in-law has always said to follow the advise of Jiminy Cricket, "Let your conscience be your guide". We like Pinocchio, want to be free of rules and regulations and responsibilities that are strings holding us down and making us puppets controlled by others that we don't respect or don't like. We want to be free to choose our friends and actions without consequences. And, if we have made good choices, why do we still have consequences of jealousy, complaints, worries, and interference form others? If we are making good choices and have good outcomes, why don't the negatives flee from us and let us bask in the glow of the positive? If God is for us, who can be against us? Those negative ions are constantly there side by side with the positive ions. We shed them like dead skin cells and cause fluctuations in energy fields of our personal space. We can barely control our ions or our sub conscience, or the negativity of others. How then can we be empowered by the love that changes negative to positive? How can we battle the constant despair of others that would drag us into their world? The love of God asks us to love the enemy. That cannot mean to avoid them, attack them, or wish them dead. It can only mean to teach them until they prosper in the same love. Watch out for the insipid jealousy of their success. But, watch even more closely not to be dragged into the mire of an other's turmoil. Fight the good fight of faith and keep your armour up. That armour of salvation from my first Blog. Truth, love, peace, and perseverence in faith. Incredible is the power of the spirit. And good dreams will come along with happy times where anxiety is a thing of the past. My heaven is a place of peaceful dreams.